It is lying on the cabinet in the hall, between the advertising leaflets and the keys. An envelope with your energy supplier’s logo on it, or perhaps from the tax authority. You have a rough idea of what is inside, and that is exactly why you do not open it. Every time you walk past, you feel a small pang. After a week there are three of them.
If that sounds familiar, you are in good company. Putting off money matters is one of the most common forms of procrastination, and it has little to do with laziness. In this article you will read why we do it, what it costs, and how a few simple steps can bring the pile back under control.
Procrastination is a way of avoiding a feeling
For a long time we thought procrastination was mainly a problem of planning or time management. The psychologists Fuschia Sirois and Timothy Pychyl (2013) see it differently: procrastination is first and foremost a way of dealing with an unpleasant feeling. The envelope stirs up fear, shame or uncertainty. By leaving it, you feel better in the short term. The problem does not go away, but the feeling does, for a while.
In a large review, Piers Steel (2007) brought together hundreds of studies on procrastination. One of the clearest patterns: we mainly put off tasks that we find unpleasant and whose reward lies far in the future. A letter from the tax office scores on both counts.
The ostrich effect
Economists even have a name for it. Niki Karlsson, George Loewenstein and Duane Seppi (2009) found that investors checked their portfolios less often when the markets were falling. They called it the ostrich effect: if the news might be bad, we would rather not look. Russell Golman, David Hagmann and George Loewenstein (2017) describe how people avoid information that could threaten their mood or self-image, even when that information is useful for making a good decision.
The bitter irony is that money matters get worse precisely because we ignore them. An invoice becomes a reminder, a reminder becomes a formal demand, and costs can be added. Meanwhile, the uncertainty stays in your head. What you do not know, you cannot solve, but you can certainly lie awake worrying about it at night.
In many countries, debt collection is bound by rules: you often receive a reminder first and a period to pay before costs are added. Find out about the rules in your country. If you cannot pay, contact the creditor yourself to ask for a repayment plan. For free help with debt, you can turn to your local council’s social services or an accredited debt advice service.
An example: Kris and the pile on the shoe cabinet
Kris (45) works as a self-employed joiner. On site he is decisive, but he puts off paperwork. After a difficult year with fewer jobs, the pile on the shoe cabinet grew: a letter from his insurer, a tax assessment notice, two invoices from suppliers. The higher the pile, the less he felt like making a start.
His partner suggested doing it together, on a fixed evening, with a time limit of half an hour. On the first evening they only opened the envelopes and sorted them into three piles: to pay, to file and action needed. Nothing more. It turned out better than expected. One letter was just an ordinary notification, and one invoice had already been paid. For the premium owed to his insurer, Kris phoned them himself the following week to ask for a payment arrangement.
“The worst part wasn’t what was in them,” says Kris, “but the weeks when I didn’t know.”
How to tackle the pile
- Choose a fixed moment. Once a week, for example on Wednesday evening after dinner. A fixed moment makes the choice for you, so you do not have to decide each time whether you feel like it right now.
- Make the first step ridiculously small. Your first task is not “sort everything out”, but “open the envelopes”. Opening is not the same as solving.
- Sort into three piles. To pay, to file, action needed. Anything that takes less than two minutes, you do straight away.
- Set a time limit. Half an hour, and then you stop, even if you have not finished. Knowing there is an end in sight makes it easier to start.
- Do not do it alone. Someone beside you, a partner, friend or coach, makes it feel less loaded. Shame grows in silence and shrinks when you talk about it.
- Reward yourself afterwards. A walk, your favourite series, a treat. That way you link something pleasant to a task you would rather avoid.
Be kind to yourself, even if you left it for a long time
It sounds contradictory, but talking to yourself harshly often makes procrastination worse. Guilt is exactly the kind of unpleasant emotion that procrastination feeds on. Michael Wohl, Timothy Pychyl and Shannon Bennett (2010) followed students during their exams. Those who forgave themselves for procrastinating before the first exam procrastinated less before the next one. Kristin Neff, who put the concept of self-compassion on the map in psychology (2003), describes it as treating yourself the way you would treat a good friend: honest about what went wrong, but without tearing yourself down.
Not sure how strongly this plays a role for you? The Avoidance scan gives you insight in a few minutes into how strongly you avoid money matters and what can help. If you notice that the worries are seriously affecting your sleep or your mood, talk to your GP about it too, or to a helpline in your country.
Peace of mind starts with knowing where you stand
Financial self-care is not about always sorting everything out perfectly straight away. It is about giving yourself the chance to know where you stand, so you can choose what to do about it. An opened envelope with bad news is almost always lighter than a closed envelope full of imagination. Every letter you open takes a little uncertainty out of your head, and that is space you get back for the rest of your life.
Would you rather not face that pile alone? A budget or financial well-being coach will go through your paperwork with you, without judgement, and help you get an overview and make a plan. Find out how coaching at FWBA works.